Potty Training

So Misty and I decided that we would attempt to potty train Angelo before baby #3 arrives. We bought little undies with Cars characters and pull-up diapers. Suffice to say that Angelo turned the tables on us and trained us on what he would and wouldn't do. This child refuses to go to the bathroom when asked. We set a 30 minute timer and every time it beeped we asked Angelo if he needed to go potty. Of course he said no and then 2 minutes later told us that he just pottied in his pull-up. As a side note Pull-up diapers are ridiculously expensive. It is clearly the last jab from the diaper companies knowing that they wont see those hineys again until incontinence sets in 60+ years later; but I digress. So clearly I am miffed that the overly expensive diaper has just been micturated in after I just asked him if he had to go.

Searching for answers Misty and I embarked on a journey to find alternate ways to potty train without breaking the bank on Pull-Ups. So we put him in just underwear and let him run around without pants. Sure enough the same thing happened. As punishment we decided to make him sit bare-bottomed in the laundry room while his undies got washed. He dutifully sat there while they went through the spin cycles and then was happy to put on another pair. No sooner had we re-clothed his loins then he did it again.

Next we tried letting him run around naked in the back yard. This was a stroke of genius because there would be nothing to throw away or wash if soiled so we figured we would let him pee on the fence or in the grass...anywhere so that he could get the feel of it. Well he didn't go on the fence or the grass like I had hoped. What he did do was drop some rabbit pellets on the back porch which I then had to hose off. Perhaps I should have titled this posting "Lack of Potty Training!"

We have tried positive affirmations and treats (he is really fond of malt balls and gummie bears) to no avail. This child is so obstinate that it makes me want to pull out what's left of my hair. We have all but given up for now. We figured that #3 isn't due for another 3 months so we still have a little time, but our goal is still to have only 1 child in diapers at any given time. Angelo is going to give us a run for our money on this one.

It is with a great deal of skepticism and cautious optimism that we picked up the book "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day." Needless to say I am unsure of its claim to work in just one day, but we will see. It can't hurt to try because everything else doesn't seem to work. If any of you have any great ideas or stories to share drop me a line and let me know what your secret is becuase we're about all out of ideas.

Tips for Husbands

I get asked all the time why my wife lets me go out and smoke cigars, play golf and generally do what I want most of the time. I think a lot of men envy my marital position, but seldom do they see what goes on at home. Firstly,  I am blessed to be married to a woman who communicates and sets expectations extremely well. She is my perfect complement, we found this to be true using the DISC personality model: I am a Di and she is an Sc (google "DISC Personality" for more info on how this works.) Secondly, I have a great privilege in being able to work remotely which makes my job at home easier. Nonetheless the rules below should still be adhered to whenever possible.

Here are my top 5 rules that will increase your chances (dare I say guarantee) that you will have more freedom to golf, fish, relax, or whatever your personal hobby might be:

1. Sweep the House: I do not mean physically with a broom (though that may be required) but what I mean is to look at what needs to be done around the house.  Maybe the floor needs to be mopped or the laundry needs to be folded or that honey-do project that keeps getting put off, but there is always something to do around the house.  Do it quietly when the wife isn't home and then the key part is to not brag about it. Bragging about what you have just done totally ruins it. Women notice everything, you won't have to tell them anything...need I elaborate? Trust me your labors will not go unnoticed.
2. Schedule Together Time: Some call it quality time and some call it date night. Whatever your particular flavor is do it and do it often. I read the other day that couples have only 12 minutes of actual interaction per day that could be considered "quality".  Quality is defined as no TV, no kids, no PDAs/email, no distractions period.  If you can be counted in the aforementioned statistic try 30 minutes of quality time a couple times a week if that's all you can manage and see where that takes you. 
3. Take Care of the Kids: At least one night per week let Mommy have the evening off while you bathe, clothe, brush teeth and read stories to the kids then call Mommy up for bedtime  prayers.  Remember that mommies don't get paid time off for their jobs, so you should do what you can to give he a break every so often. Not only will it be a welcomed treat for her, but you will be amazed at what your wife can do with 30 minutes alone without children nipping at her heels.
4. Clean the Sink: I'm not joking about this one.  I'm talking to those of you with the plain jane stainless steel sinks in the kitchen. Next time you are in the kitchen look at your sink...do you see spots? The answer is probably yes. Since you are already there looking try this trick: take a towel and simply wipe the sink and faucet until the spots disappear.  This takes no more than 30 seconds, but the difference it makes is amazing. There is something about polished shiny things that gives women a sense of peace. Note: this also applies to any glass surface with fingerprints, TV screens and mirrors.
5. Buy a DVR (If you don't already have one): To round out the top 5 I had to plug my favorite invention of the decade the DVR. I am a firm believer that a DVR can make you a better parent and husband.  Not only can you record all the shows you would otherwise "miss" but you can cut out the commercials which will save the average TV watching person a minimum of 30 minutes per evening.  For ideas on what to do with the 30 minutes you just saved see items 1-4.

If you follow these rules you will see an undeniable uptick in the quality of your home life and perhaps a matched decline in your handicap. Men, I'd love to hear feedback on this one...let me know if it works for you.