Top 10 Observations About Having 3 Boys:
- We are now officially outnumbered: Last week it was an even match. Now I feel like the guy standing in the middle of the wrestling ring who gets hit with the folding chair by the 3rd team member.
- We currently have 2 Children in Diapers: I only have 2 hands. Houston we have a problem! Where is the hand sanitizer when you need it?
- Noise level measured in decibels increases exponentially with each child: We started with diesel engine (Antonio only), then to a jackhammer (Antonio + Angelo), and now a low-flying 747. Next up H-Test on the Bikini Atoll.
- There are still only 24 hours in a day: More hours dedicated to laundry, cleaning, feedings = fewer that can be dedicated to sleep. (Also see observations 1-3).
- Clutter becomes it own element: Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, Clutter. Every child should have to carry his own toys in a backpack. If they can't fit then something has to go.
- Agreement ceases to exist among siblings: Merriam-Webster under disagreement "constant state of affairs in an all-boy household." It doesn't matter if is Backyardagains vs. Diego, or who touched the car first they seem to disagree about everything. Enter Observation #3.
- WWF = Why We Fight: The two older ones have so much energy that fights eventually breakout and turn into a stomping, punching, slapping, body-slamming, pile-driving good time. At least they don't bite each other (knock on wood).
- Insanity means I love You: If you find yourself wanting to pull your hair out or hit yourself over the head with a cast iron skillet you are not alone. We feel this way to ensure the survival of our species so that we don't take it out on the goslings. Now run along while Daddy puts on his headphones to drown out the noise. (Also see observation #3)
- Good God how am I going to afford to feed all these kids: They eat like horses. I think it is about time for a separate freezer so that we can stock up on essentials so that we don't run out of food in a mad panic. I think the Country Meat Market sells whole cows and if you buy the whole thing they will toss in some cryogenically packed pork chops, spare ribs and chicken breasts. Where do I sign up?
- Gibberish: I swear we raised our kids better than this. Antonio (who has an expansive vocabulary) chooses to speak in gibberish 50% of the time. Angelo who won't follow any of Antonio's good habits will then repeat the gibberish. It's like dueling auctioneers trying to sell a mystery car under a tarp (you think it might be a Porsche but its really a 79 Ford Pinto). They don't really want you to know what it is, but boy do they want you to be excited about it.