Antonio's 4th Birthday

On this day 4 years ago Misty and I received a gift that defies words. Antonio, our first child was born and our life has never been the same since. Sure my dreams of playing golf professionally have been dashed (now I just settle for playing once a month if I'm lucky). Sure Misty graduated at the top of her class in International Business and never got to work anywhere but the DFW area. Not that I would trade the way my life is now for anything.

Many things in life don't turn out the way you expect when you are young. This is probably a good thing. Misty and I agreed that we could not plan to have children. We felt it was something that was beyond our control and we would just go with the flow.  Sure enough two weeks shy of our first anniversary we already had #1. By the time our second anniversary rolled around we already knew we were expecting #2. Now we sit on the precipice of our 5th anniversary already with two preschoolers and another little boy on the way.

Birthdays are a time for reflection. Our children will understand this as they get older, parents are acutely aware of this. The reflection I see in the mirror is a somewhat older, wiser, heavier, balder version of my pre-paternal self. I can't really tell if my children are the cause of my hair loss but I wouldn't be surprised if it were true.

As I look back to 5 years ago I see a couple of twenty-somethings getting ready to take the plunge.  Frenetically checking and re-checking all wedding plans: catering, groomsmen, brides maids, time, place, etc. There is nothing like planning your own wedding. Somehow 5 years has whizzed by between then and now. Along with it went our sense of perfection.

We began planning our October wedding in January. Ten months for one day. Since then we have had to adjust what we are able to live with in terms of perfection: honestly we are lucky if we have 10 minutes these days. We understand that children have no concept of timeliness or cleanliness. We have resigned ourselves to the fact that if we hit the agreed upon target + 30 minutes we are having a good day. If the children only cycle through their wardrobe in three days...not so bad. If only a little of the chocolate cupcake lands on the floor, grabbing the mop would be tantamount to sitting on a whoopee cushion (guaranteed to elicit laughter).

I sometimes wonder what we did with our extra time before we had kids? I struggle to recall anything of consequence. Yes, we took vacations not involving a minivan. Yes, we ate out a bunch and had a night life that didn't include baby monitors, midnight feeding sessions and tiptoeing through our own house. Yes, we were able to do anything we wanted. Do I miss it...I would be lying if I didn't say no. But I don't miss it for very long. When I see my boys I know that I was put here on this earth to raise men, not an easy task. I try to set a good example for them to follow every day. It is sometimes difficult and it must be repeated daily.

I, like all parents want the best for my children and I have come to terms with the sacrifices that I must make to ensure that our children grow up into well-adjusted adults.  The daily grind no longer ends at the watering hole. Extravagant meals have given way to Mac N Cheese and hot dogs. Things that used to be priorities are no longer even a faint notion. It is all part of what we parents must to to provide for our children. If there is anything I have learned in the last 4 years it is this: anyone can do something difficult for one day, doing it every day is what makes you a parent.

Happy Birthday Antonio.

Love,

Dad