You Want Applesauce - You Can't Handle The Spoon

While feeding my darling 1-yr old daughter tonight and trying to play the airplane game to get her to eat her applesauce from the spoon I was holding (which she clearly wanted to hold herself) it brought to mind the final courtroom scene from the movie A Few Good Men. The only difference here is that I play the role of Jack Nicholson and my daughter plays the role of Tom Cruise. See if you can follow along.

Dad (Jack Nicholson) - You want applesauce?

Giuliana (Tom Cruise) - I think I'm entitled.

Dad - Do you want applesauce?

Giuliana - I want the spoon!

Dad - You can't handle the spoon! Sister we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with the ability to keep food off them. Who's going to do it, you? Your brothers? I have a deeper responsibility than you can possibly fathom. While sitting there complaining that you can't hold the spoon, you weep and tell me how hard your life is and you curse all of the family. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. My unwillingness to give you the spoon probably saved my wife, and my existence while grotesque and incomprehensible to you saves me from my wife. You won't admit it but deep down in places you won't talk about at play groups you want me to clean those walls, you need me to clean those walls! We use words like "keep the food out of your hair", "don't touch that", and "don't give that to your sister". We use these words as the backbone of a life spend defending our sanity; you use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to someone who rises and eats the food which I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would just as soon have you say thank you and be on your way. Otherwise I suggest you grab a mop or at least a paper towel and start scrubbing. Either way I don't care what you think you are entitled to!

Happy New Year Everyone!